I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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