She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
