I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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