Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
bring money and cleavage
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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