I am in a vortex of obligation.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
