Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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