my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
