My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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