PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
