sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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