do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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