I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
