He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize