THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
