the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
