is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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