Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
