your parents love me but you hate me
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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