I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
