I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize