So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
