I wish you could order shots online.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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