i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
