We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i think i just lost a toe
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize