You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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