You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
