my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
