I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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