How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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