everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
