I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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