summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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