Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize