this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
