I forgot how hot balto sounded
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
