dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My Higher Power is John Stamos
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
