She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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