I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
