i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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