a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
