Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
