They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's official drugs can't kill me
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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