Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
