The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just want to make out with him forever
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
