They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
