just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
