Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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