i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
