i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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