Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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