actually, I'm a sock model
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize