we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
