There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
