I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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