I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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