i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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