I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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