..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
