Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
