Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
