I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
