Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Randomize
