What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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