a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
