i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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