Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
