So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Farmville is her only friend.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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