PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Just pee around me
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
